Sometimes I have a client who is really stuck. Stuck in the grief of a transition from a career ending or feeling like it is going nowhere, or a relationship ending or being stuck in the confusion of which way to turn. Sometimes it is perfectly fine to stay there and keep putting one foot in front of the other, other times you need to do something to shake things up. You don’t want to set up camp and […]
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not a truth.” – Marcus Aurelius I feel grateful and fortunate to have numerous friends and colleagues to bounce ideas off of and that I almost always get a wide range of opinions about what to do. One of my biggest realizations was that their opinions are just that, and not facts. This can be challenging because often their opinions conflict or are given […]
One morning at the small gym where I do my exercise “torture” there were a couple new faces on the treadmill next to me. They came in and didn’t say a word. I debated about whether to say anything; maybe they’re happy in their silence? I decided to say good morning. They each smiled and replied back with a good morning too and I felt better that we had that small connection. It doesn’t feel like much, but when […]
“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” – Sally Field Sometimes, in my preparations to give a speech, I catch myself in a spiral of concerns about whether the audience will like my points or if what I’m saying will resonate at all or if the information I share will be relevant enough for them and on and on. In the best of times, I catch the spiral before it goes too […]
“What, this is it?” she said with a look of confusion on her face as she stared at the five small “Thai shrimp” dumplings on her plate. “That is all you get for eleven dollars?” She was laughing with dismay as she went on to explain, “At home it would have been a big bowl with bigger dumplings and this is so little, that is a lot of money per dumpling and if I had known then I never […]
In 2008, a colleague announced that he was taking the voluntary severance and leaving. I was surprised, the volunteer severance was no better than the lay off severance and he was too young to retire. I asked him, “Was it a difficult decision?” I can still see the big smile that lit up his face, “No, not at all, in fact I’ve been planning this since the layoffs last year and I was afraid they weren’t going to offer […]
In 1987, I was at my desk at Motorola, trying to stay focused on the procedure I was reading when I overheard a more experienced colleague say, “He really read him the riot act….” Immediately, I thought, what act is that? I haven’t seen it in the pile of reading that I was assigned? I jumped up and asked, “Where do I get a copy of the riot act?” There was a pause and then a lot of laughter […]
In the workshop I give on negotiations, one of the topics I teach about is the power of understanding the other person’s (or other business’s) interests versus their position. What interest is driving them to take the position that they are taking? Many times their interest is driven by a basic human need. Next time you struggle to understand: “Why won’t they agree or even consider my perspective?” One of these needs may be at play: security, economic well […]
I worked through a stressful situation with a client once that I could empathize with all too well. It was her pile. The pile itself was not the cause of her stress, it was all of her thoughts about the pile. “What is in there that I should have taken care of?” “How am I going to deal with it if I am late on something in that pile?” “What problems are lurking in that pile that I have […]
One of the most powerful things I learned from my Coach training was how to look at my day to day habits and/or activities and identify what is sapping my energy. It sounds obvious enough, but you know how easy it is to get into “auto” mode in your daily routine. If you don’t pay attention, next thing you know it is Friday and the whole week as gone by and you wonder, “How did I get here?” Or […]
