Toss out your calendar and clock and pay attention to how you feel! Ok, you will need the clock to be on time to commitments and the calendar to keep track of appointments but use these tools as good servants and not masters.
Recently, I realized that I had a belief that if I was at my computer working on a project at a certain hour (say 9pm) then I was not living one of my values: balance. But, then I started questioning this belief; am I really not in balance? I was not all stressed out and exhausted; I was enjoying myself. I started noticing how I felt and realized that I was still in balance and just needed to toss the clock.
Another example was a commitment to a team meeting on Sunday. At first I really whined about this in my head: “Why should I have to give up my Sunday afternoon?!” Then I realized that our days of the week are a human invention and I have created these beliefs around what should and should not happen on particular days; my dog has no clue and would love a walk on every single day. I shifted to consider what I appreciated about being involved with this team and my opportunity to live my values of collaboration and connection. It has been a great pleasure to have the flexibility to do work and have some fun on different days of the week with the freedom of owning my own business.
The key is to pay attention to how you feel: are you energized or relaxed and enjoying yourself? Are you anxious and pre-occupied with worry and stress? These are clues as to whether you are doing what you need to do to be successful and happy. Remember the 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions for thriving in any environment (prior post linked). What you are doing when you create these positive emotions is very personal to you; don’t let beliefs about what you think you should be doing (or what other people do) interfere with your internalGPS.
Read this great post, “Forget About Work/Life Balance” in Psychology Today by one of my favorite Writers and Coaches, Marcia Reynolds. It is a quick read with some great advice: “Balance your body and mind if you can’t balance your work by breaking for exercise, breaking bread with those you love, and taking moments to connect with nature.”
What have have you let go that you thought you should do? Please share in a comment.
photo credit: ribbit voice via Flickr creative commons