1. Silence the Critic
Many people have a critical inner voice that plays constantly in their heads. Some very successful people actually credit their success with this inner critic. It clearly can be a strong driving force toward success but it is most likely accompanied by harsh judgment and fear that can have the opposite affect of success or make the success never feel good enough and filled with misery. Unfortunately, I have experienced this first-hand and continue to work on replacing the critic with a much kinder voice. It is amazing how much emotional energy you have leftover for other things once the critic is replaced with a more inspirational and motivating voice, and you will have more success!
This is also true for leading and managing your business. Figure out how to motivate and inspire your team to higher performance rather than criticizing. The general guideline is to give seven positive feedback comments for every one constructive criticism. I am not encouraging denial here; if there is a performance issue or an unhappy customer then the issue must be resolved quickly but there is always a more positive (rather than negative) way to handle it.
2. Practice Gratitude
It is impossible to feel fear and gratitude at the same time. If you are not in the habit of being grateful then practice until it becomes a habit. Try this for a week: each time a fearful thought enters your mind replace it with a thought about what you are thankful for. Start a gratitude list and regularly add to it. If you are struggling to add items then start listing items you may take for granted. I am grateful that I breathe without any thought about it whatsoever…really; you will get better at it as you practice.
Create a process to genuinely thank your employees and customers. I was happy to receive a hand-written thank you note in the mail from the sales person who sold me an office chair at Relax-the-Back. This was a small gesture but it meant a lot since most retailers never do it.
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” – Buddha
3. Laugh More
Kids laugh 400 times a day, adults 15. Laughing for 20 seconds is equivalent to three minutes on the rowing machine. I love this; if I laugh more then I can exercise less.
Laughter, like exercise, increases the endorphins in your brain, making you feel good, banishing fear, and enabling you to come up with better ideas for success. Establishing a fun & humorous culture will enhance productivity by facilitating more creative solutions. Treat your issues seriously but not yourself.
4. Take Action!
None of this will work by reading alone. Reading about swimming techniques will only help if quickly followed up by jumping in the water. Put yourself out there, jump in and then do it again, and again. Make an action list now; possibly start with an action to add more laughter through-out your day.
5. Track Results
A lot of activity with no results is a dust storm. Figure out the key metrics you need to track for success and then meticulously track them. In his book, The E-Myth, Michael Gerber explains that successful business owners know their numbers and track them religiously. If the results are not what you expected then make adjustments and take more actions; don’t get dragged down by disappointment or that critic mentioned earlier. Actions and results will drive out fear and navigate you to success.
“One who fears limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.” – Henry Ford
Please click on the “comments” link below and share your ideas and thoughts about driving past fear for more success.
Resources to Learn More:
Wall Street Journal June 16, 2009 issue, “Silencing the Voice That Says You’re a Fraud” Take their “How Self-Critical am I?” quiz.
http://www.myhappy.com/article Web site where happy, science and people meet.
The E-Myth by Michael Gerber
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
photo credits: Flavored Seltzer, ghost factory, Wickenden
Fantastic! If everyone stopped to consider these five areas for success – they would be amazed at the transformation of their life. Well said!
Thanks Abby! Wonderful that you so enthusiasticallly agree and I appreciate you sharing!
I have to have my critic, or what I call Ego, sitting on my shoulder all day whispering in my ear,”You can do it, just a little more, just a little longer.” There is nothing better than a healthy and balanced relationship with your critic. Be grateful for every breath you take, and strive to laugh more every day. Be a “Doer”, not a “Watcher”. Take action.
I agree with the laughter advice! I was in a represive work environment, but I moved to a better job environment where laughter and productivity regularly occur. It’s amazing how a seemingly little thing like laughter can really affect the quality of the work and the attitudes of the workers. Hurray for laughter!
Yes, so much better to be in a positive and supportive environment! On my monthly bunco nights we always laugh a lot and it feels so good. Recently I found that I tend to follow people on twitter who make me laugh. Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com has a wonderful sense of humor; his last tweet was: “If the person you’re talking to isn’t listening, be patient. Maybe he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.” -Winnie the Pooh
It sounds like your critic has been replaced with a great coach; a very good thing! Thanks for your support Big W!
Great Advice Paula,
As far as gratitude goes, I bought a little journal a few months ago, and each evening, I challenge myself to find things that occurred during the day that I’m grateful for. It could be anything from a really great sandwich at lunch to a client that paid me on time to having a good friend who I had a great conversation with that day.
It has really forced me to look at what’s good and what’s going right. Even when I’ve had bad days I’ve found ways of making them good. Instead of being upset and feeling lonely about not being in a relationship, I realize that I’m grateful not to be in a toxic or abusive relationship. For me, gratitude helps me keep it all in perspective.
Karyn
Thanks Karyn; love your daily process for gratitude and appreciate you sharing!